Annual State Of This Wisconsin Kitchen Address; Commentary To Follow

Tonight the president delivers his annual state of the union address. Following in suit, I will deliver the first annual state of This Wisconsin Kitchen address. I look around This Wisconsin Kitchen and see disarray. But as our president is skilled at gleaning hope from ruins, so am I. Beyond the dirty dishes over-flowing the counter, I see clean ones in the dish drainer, ready to enter the cupboard. True, the rate at which this Wisconsin family dirties them exceeds the rate at which they clean them. But despite this deficit washing, their is still continued flow into the cupboard.

Regarding the state of the pantry, inventory is up thanks to a major investment in securing staple goods. Following this investment, employment producing nutritious meals is expected to rise. Additional funds were allocated to This Wisconsin Kitchen's (F)EMA account in which specific goods such as frozen pizzas, veggie burgers, chicken nuggets, and Chinese dumplings are now stock-piled for emergencies.

Purchases of durable goods and investment in kitchen infrastructure are at zero levels and expected to remain so for the duration of 2010. The only investment of note was in the purchase of mouse trap. We congratulate the Wisconsin family for its compassion; the trap is a live trap and as such has caught no mice. But thanks go anyway to the kind children who selected it and thereby serve as conscience and future of this Wisconsin family. With these brave children setting the moral tone of This Wisconsin Kitchen we may all share in the promise of a happy hearth and home.

Click on "Continue reading..." for the commentary.

Commentary

While economic issues were addressed in this year's annual state of This Wisconsin Kitchen, there was a noticeable lack of mention of the pressing issues of health and sanitation. To give the administration credit, a revised cleaning policy is now in effect. The dog hair is regularly vacuumed and no longer suffocates the refrigerator coils. However, muddy footprints is an issue that remains stuck in committee. Dominating discussion focuses on exactly where snow boots should be removed. Opposing sides argue kitchen versus garage. The administration is pushing for the garage but faces strong opposition. Meanwhile, special interest concerns such as the proper kitchen location for library books, school papers, and newspapers continue to be ignored. Lack of effective policy permits the continued boom and bust cycle resulting in large piles of stuff growing uncontrollably until they reach an unsustainable height at which time they are then unilaterally swept away with disregard for the importance of their components' contents. Anguish and gnashing of teeth in grief intermittently erupt, but still this administration fails to enact any enforceable policy of pile regulation. Will the administration take up this issue in a meaningful way or will This Wisconsin Kitchen continue to be an embarrassment upon the arrival of visitors?

Opposing view: This Wisconsin Kitchen is doing just fine. It's state of The Kitchen is on par with not only other Wisconsin Kitchens but with kitchens around the world.

Is this true? How would you describe the state of your kitchen?

 

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Comments

[Erin]

I live in a tiny New York City apartment with a corresponding tiny New York City kitchen. My husband and I work late, so cooking is limited to the weekends. Somehow, even with this limited time in the kitchen, the dishes remain in the dishwasher, the floor is continually in need of a mopping, and one of the cabinet doors is forelornly hanging askew.

[Cristie]

Hi Erin, thanks for commenting on my kitchen post. It's reassuring to hear that others have kitchens in similar states. I suspected as much. I like your idea about going out to eat frequently. When my kitchen's out of sight it's definitely out of my mind.